I was never the girl who talked about faith. Honestly? I was the girl who had a plan for everything, and if that plan wasn't working, I just pushed harder. I didn't trust things I couldn't control, and I definitely didn't trust God to know better than me. But then life broke me open in the best way possible.
The year I wanted everything right now.
For so long, I was chasing this one thing. I knew exactly what I wanted, exactly when I needed it, and I was angry that it wasn't happening. Like, really angry. I thought about it all day. I'd wake up at 3 a.m. thinking about how to make it happen. I tried everything: networking, planning, pushing doors open that weren't budging. I was exhausted from trying so hard to fix it myself.
Then the rejections started coming. And they kept coming. One day I'm standing in my kitchen, and I just break. I'm crying on the floor, asking God if He's even real or if I've just been talking to myself this whole time.
The moment I finally gave up.
That's when something changed. Not because everything got better right away, but because I stopped trying to control it. I stopped fighting so hard. And honestly? That's when I actually started listening.
I started noticing things I'd been too busy to see. A conversation with someone who ended up being really important to me. An opportunity that didn't look like what I wanted, but felt right somehow. A delay that actually kept me away from something bad I didn't even know was coming.
I realized I'd been so focused on my own plan that I couldn't see what God was actually doing.
Now I get it.
Looking back, it's so clear. The path I was fighting so hard for? It wouldn't have taken me where I actually needed to be. All those "no" answers weren't God rejecting me; they were God protecting me. And all that waiting? It wasn't God being quiet. He was actually super busy setting things up behind the scenes that I couldn't even imagine.
God knew the whole story the whole time. He was making connections I couldn't make, opening doors I couldn't open, and timing everything perfectly. While I was freaking out, He had it all planned out.
What this did to me.
This whole thing changed something inside me. I learned that faith doesn't mean you have to understand everything God is doing. It just means trusting that He knows what He's doing, even when you can't see it yet.
I stopped thinking God was good only when things were going exactly how I wanted. I started seeing Him in the closed doors, in the waiting, in all the times when He said "not yet" instead of "not ever."
If you're waiting right now.
I know how hard it is. That feeling that maybe it's never going to happen, that you're stuck, that maybe God forgot about you, I've been there. I get it.
But here's what I know now: God's timing is real, even when it doesn't feel like it. He sees the whole picture while you're only looking at this one moment. He knows what needs to happen in your heart before that thing you're waiting for can actually come. He understands that you need to become someone different first, that you need different people in your life, that you need to learn things you can't learn any other way.
Sometimes what you're waiting for isn't even the real miracle. The real miracle is who you become while you're waiting. It's the trust you build. It's the faith that gets stronger because you have nothing else to hold onto.
What I believe now.
I used to think that if God loved me, everything would just be easy and happen fast. Now I know that God's love shows up most in the hard times, in the mysteries, in the moments when all you have is faith and nothing else.
God didn't change my life by giving me what I wanted when I wanted it. He changed my life by teaching me to trust Him. That surrender, that finally letting go, that's the real blessing.
That's what changed everything for me.
By Maria Rosey. Founder of One Touch Finance.